"Bournemouth Runner" lyrics

Consumed with premonition
Of trouble on horizon
By my remarks I was certain
I was destined persecution

But then I took a chase after the Bournemouth Runner!
Bournemouth Runner!
C-c-could dare
Bournemouth Runner!
First night

Bournemouth Runner!
He was a Bournemouth Runner!

Bournemouth Runner!
Didn't get far
Bournemouth Runner!
First night
Bournemouth Runner!
But the second night
He got away with our guiding light

Was chilled to the bone
At 8am
On a Bournemouth morn
There was a drum deck
Outside (Route/room?) 51
Two nights before
Bristol ball
A runner took backdrop, exit hall

Bournemouth Runner!
Raced a couple of hundred yards
Bournemouth Runner!
Barman clipped his ears
Bournemouth Runner!
Spitted and shifted
Bournemouth Runner!
Backdrop dissipated
Bournemouth Runner!
He was the Bournemouth Runner!

How could we now it was the Bournemouth Runner?

Bournemouth Runner!
Raced a couple of hundred yards
Bournemouth Runner!
Barman clipped his ears
Bournemouth Runner!
Spitted and shifted
Bournemouth Runner!
Backdrop dissipated
Bournemouth Runner!
He was the Bournemouth Runner!

Took away our guiding light

Our backdrop was friendly, heavy
Often it would rumble into hotel
And partake with us
In diluted drink and dogmeat
Of RAC recommended hostelry

Bournemouth Runner!
Shifted and twisted
Bournemouth Runner!
On beach sand sifted
Bournemouth Runner!
In the best home
Bournemouth Runner!
Locks picked
Bournemouth Runner!

Should've known better
Than to underrate
Bournemouth sucker
Took away our guiding light

Bournemouth Runner!
Calendar
Bournemouth Runner!
I've forgotten the date
Bournemouth Runner!
No plot
Bournemouth Runner!
You're welcome
Bournemouth Runner!
It was coated in poison
Bournemouth Runner!

Have to buy a new one...