"Calgone" lyrics

On my way home
Police car pulled me over

After they left, I puttered out of gas
AAA came, but my card was expired
I had to walk home, and of course, it rained half the time
I tried to get some shut-eye, then I was abducted
They put cold things in my butt
They sampled a bit of my D.N.A.
They left me on top of my sheets
I dreamt I went potty, then woke up drenched in me
This day sucked the hardest ever

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today
A little bit less than nothing would go my way

I got up to toss my soiled sheets
The hallway was dark and I stubbed my big toe
It was then that I sensed the irony (burning me)
Then I heard the voice say
"Come sail aboard the S.S. Nepenthe"
I suppose I'm to blame

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today
A little bit less than nothing would go my way

Thank goodness
For bathtubs and suds

I suppose I'm to blame for getting pulled over
I guess I'm the culprit for running out of gas
Let's assume I'm the guy who didn't pay his AAA fee
In actuality, I let the zetas probe me
Yesterday was all my fault
I let negativity get the better of me
Thank goodness for the bathtubs and suds
They temporarily set free this quandary

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today
A little bit less than nothing would go my way

Oh fuck
God look what you fucking did Gavin, you fucking almost erased the entire track, please fucking be careful
Alright I'm sorry man cause this thing has a zoom lens I was, it fucked me up
Dude I know but your fucking like you know don't get anywhere near this. Okay?
I'm sorry man aye I apologize dude I was tryna get like, I'm just sitting here tryna film man I'm sorry
You see that?
Did it erase?
No nah it could've very easily
I'm sorry, sorry dude seriously man it was just a filming mistake
You fucked up so bad
I'm staying in this one spot